Support system

Up here in Canada it is very disappointing what we parents of autistic children have to go through to get services let alone have our voices be heard. I am involved in respite services in which we help families w special needs. I had a talk with a family about what they’re going through. what really struck me was the fact the child needs IBI therapy and we have a waiting list for 4-5 years because the government simply has no sympathy to put more money and resources into a system that really needs it. I know we want to do more but we are so handcuffed as parents. when you try and get answers you cant get any straight answers. It is sad how in our school system there seems to be less sympathy for special needs children. Having had a few run ins on this matter I speak from experience that it is frustrating to get them to listen to what you have to say about your child. We had an issue with going to a new school a couple years ago. I was trying to make the transistion easier for my child by asking to visit the classroom before I decided on this move. The school she was in at the time I had to fight like crazy for them to see my point in all of this. I eventually gave them a choice and they ended up accomadating my child with this request. that took a lot out of me emotionally to a point where I was not encouraged with the way these kids are handled. The reality I found out was the voice of these children are suppressed so much that they are not given any voice and the minute you speak up as a parent they try and do the same to you. I have gotten her into a special needs school this year that has been working out quite good. her self esteem is much more positive than it had been last year. In summary we as a special needs community need to speak and rise up and tell governments that these children are people too and we need to be putting more in place to help and stop the system from telling us to be quiet.

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6 thoughts on “Support system

  1. I totally agree with your words and do empathise as a single parent also who has a child on the autistic spectrum. Namely Verbal Dyspraxia. Also in England we have the same political problems as funding which is ridiculous and if your child isnt deemed ‘special enough’ then they dont receive the support that they should to flourish.
    I used to teach at a secondary school and we were the first Secondary school in London to attach an Autistic Unit, which gave students time in the unit and part integration into the mainstream school. At the time of working there i felt that this was a good system and all the staff were trained in Autism which as we both know is paramount. A regular TA is not enough for such a specific need. This worked for most pupils but we did have some that stayed in the Autistic Unit, which still worked as they could still access all areas so to speak.
    In England, well especially in the borough that i live in would you believe that Speech Therapy for my son was put after Speech Therapy for a child with English as an additional language. There was more money in that pot than any other. Yet my son at the age of 6 still had no speech, no sounds and had to learn to use Makaton sign language.
    Trust me you arent alone in the battle. I had many a political argument about this. And also in some boroughs they see having no speech as a medical need and some as an educational need. So if an adult has a stroke it is medical, yet a child born with a disorder that prevents them from being able to speak is not? Yep the system is all wrong. And alongside all of this we as parents have to educate ourselves and also have the emotional roller coaster on top. So i think there should be alot more help for our children and for us…. we shouldnt have to fight at all…….
    ive noticed that you are following my blog,… keep reading you will be amazed at some of the battles i have had and still had…. stay strong and keep fighting.. your not alone!!!!

    • thank you for your support that means a lot. im always talking to other parents with kids on the spectrum who have difficulty getting proper services. i admit it does get me fired up and upset.

      • Your more than welcome. Yes sadly it seems a worldwide problem. Its hard enough having to educate ourselves on certain ‘needs’ let alone having to fight all the time. But as i write my blogs my 8 year old son reads them over my shoulder and knowing that he knows im fighting the fight for him and other children like him gives me enough strength to fight on.
        It seems that funding goes into services that are already well funded. It doesnt make sense to me either. All these big wigs who sit on these panels and make these financial decisions would quite possible make better informed decisions if they had children with needs… Feel free to rant whenever necessary. Its good to have a rant. works for me. Stay strong… and know that when your daughter gets older she will know what an amazing dad she has.
        Thankyou for reading my blogs…… keep the faith

    • Thanks and you too…. Awareness as you know decreases ignorance and ignorance is something that unfortunately we have alot of in this world.
      I had another encounter with the Deputy Head of my sons school this morning. He seems to think that the problem is over and that this bully is under control. I however disagree and know that my son still has alot of anxiety about this boy. Its all ridiculous words they give us parents trying to keep us quiet and its all text book information that perhaps most parents would believe and be content with. However im not.
      I just really want to know why some children are allowed to misbehave time and time again, year and year and yet it seems ‘ok’ to allow them to do this. So he tried to tell me about teaching children what is the correct way to behave in society and what behaviours are tolerated in the workplace. Ok, so my reponse to him was.. If an adult used racist language, homophobic language, violence and intimidation in the workplace they would be sacked. So why are you allowing a student to behave in this way???? he tripped himself up with that comment. And said thats not what he meant. Well i told him you made that analogy…. makes me laugh…. I wont go away, even though im sure they wish i would. Not just for my son but for others you know.. Im not a do gooder at all. But when i feel passionately about something i am somewhat like a dog with a bone…. hasten to add i dont resemble any 4 legged creatures.. LOL so another day and no real answers to why society helps some and for us who have children who have needs which have to be met. Why do we have to fight. Yet the more dysfunctional families children seem to get more support? the mind boggles…
      well will do another blog later, now my rant is over….. have a gd day 🙂

  2. Ya it doesn’t seem fair that kids with real behavourial issue gets better treatment. I know our friend has a son whose adhd and he always gets treated in school like he’s a bad kid. When I was in the school I could see and wish I had the power to say or do something because he’s a really good kid that up to now has been mistreated. His mom changed his school after the diagnosis and thankfully its gotten better. I hope it gets better for your son.

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